So far, 2016 has been fantastic. I don’t say this to brag or to imply that my life is perfect, just that I feel I’m finally seeing the light at the end of a long, hard, dark and often tumultuous tunnel.
Ever since starting university, I had doubted myself. My life choices, what made me happy, who made me happy and where I wanted to go in life were all things I questioned regularly. I felt overwhelmed, but most of all I just felt confused. I’d been so certain of everything I wanted at the grand old age of 16 and didn’t question this until reality forced me to. I’d known exactly what I wanted to be ‘when I grew up’ and then, I hated my degree. This resulted in me feeling lost and unsure about my future and unfortunately everything just multiplied from there.
It’s been an interesting (put whatever intonation on this that you wish) few years, but I’ve finally started to find things in my life that make me happy. More than that though, is that this year, I’ve finally had the courage to actually pursue those things. This is new for me. Almost scary in a way. But very welcome all the same.
So what are these things that have produced this renewed vigour for life? I hear you ask. Many things I’m sure, but here are just a few.
1. I work in a job that I really truly enjoy with a group of people that support me and encourage me to be the most confident and true to myself version of me I can be. I feel comfortable to the point where pushing my limits and trying new things is no longer the scary experience it once was.
2. I set myself goals that I’m slowly achieving and am garnering great satisfaction from that. Firstly, in just under a week I will be setting off on a trip through some parts of Australia that I really want to experience. Secondly, I’m slowly decluttering and getting rid of the excess stuff that was just taking up space. This process has been incredibly cathartic. Thirdly, I’ve taken on a more thoughtful approach to buying where I make the effort to source second hand, ethically produced and/or fair trade products wherever I can. While these might be small changes, collectively they are having a significant impact on my life. I’m looking forward to where this process leads.
3. I’m letting go of some of the superficial and materialistic views that I once held dear. I’ve been plagued with acne and the resulting low self esteem since I was in primary school. Much of my time as a teenager and young adult has been spent religiously consuming beauty advice and the subsequent recommended products. It was never a conscious decision to let go of this way of thinking, but I’ve started to let go nonetheless. I feel significantly less stressed as I get ready every day. It’s also given me more time to focus my energies elsewhere.
This isn’t a comprehensive list of everything that is happening in my life, but I’m glad I took the time to create goals for myself this year because they’ve been an incredibly positive driving force in the past couple of months.
Clean up Australia Day was fantastic and something I hadn’t done since primary school. I’m in the middle in a white t shirt. I love this picture because we were all hot, sweaty and exhausted but also so very happy. One small change, but many happy memories.
Until next time,